I don't think brook has ever known best
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
