omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
