C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
