if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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