what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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