Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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