i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
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