"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
