we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
