Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
