i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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