you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
