can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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