oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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