Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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