Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
