Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
