toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
