I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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