Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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