Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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