I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
