But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
