Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
