why didn't you poke me back
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
