dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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