Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
