But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I fill condoms, not promises.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
