Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
