Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
