We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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