she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
my poor anus
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
