just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
