just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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