Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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