it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
