I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I wear drunk well.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
