Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
