Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
