Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
