opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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