thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
it was like eating out sand paper
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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