yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
