Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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