shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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