He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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