you would pick up someone in the library
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
