How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Such a big mess for such a small penis
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
