Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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