He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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